If you do this, you can change the world

White – Crown Chakra – Spirit – release – connection to the divine, Shiva’s descent, universal consciousness, true selves, divine union.

This deck of cards has a very spiritual focus, but with Earthly issues. This deck is particularly good for groups of friends who like to discuss the big issues in life with each other.

white 20july17

How are you connected to other people?

While shuffling I asked what does the world need to know at this time and this card jumped out face down, symbolic maybe of our societal disconnection and our apathy towards our fellow humans.

Ultimately this question is about how we live our lives in relationship to the other humans in it. Famous studies of the Romanian orphanages of the 1990s show that children who were given attention and non-sexual physical touch, such as cuddles, thrived compared to those who didn’t. Humans need connection. We are social creatures. We need to feel like we belong. In a study by Beumeister and Leary (1995) showed that humans need regular, positive relationships that are continuing. They went onto say that “belongingness appears to have multiple and strong effects on emotional patterns and on cognitive processes. Lack of attachments is linked to a variety of ill effects on health, adjustment and well-being.” That is, that belonging, is not only important, but a strong motivator in behaviour and consequences.[1]

When we don’t feel like we belong, it has interesting outcomes for our mental health, such as depression and other mental health issues, studies repeatedly show that the solution for addiction (drugs, sex, alcohol) are meaningful connections.  Portugal appears to be the global leader in this as it relates to drug addiction. See this great article here.

Furthermore, studies have found there are four main motivators for connection: “social comparison, emotional support, positive stimulation and attention”[2], so upon reflection, the questions need to be asked, what are the motivations for the connections in your life? Are people in your life so you can compare your identity to them, are they for emotional support, do they give you positive interactions or attention?

The other level of this card is one of energy, HOW are you connected, implies not only the motivators above, but how you are connected on an energetic level. Is the connection a healthy one? Does it make you feel drained? Do you feel energised by it? When we connect to another person from an energetic level, we feel connected. Some theories hypothesise invisible cords that connect us to each other and personally I can attest to feel like a former partner’s energy felt like it trapped me like an octopus’ tentacles. Unfortunately, there is no research that I can find that confirms energetic connection, please share it below if you find any.

Whether we like it or not, the world has 7.4 billion human beings on it, we need each other to help fulfil our need for self-realisation and belonging. We are one species among many species on the planet that work together to create this biosphere that we live on. The more that we work together and stop attacking one another, the more harmonious our world can become.

Further questions to reflect or journal on for this card include:

Who do I connect with on a daily basis?

Who connects with me on a daily basis?

How do I feel about connecting with others?

Would I speak to a complete stranger? Why? Why not?

What sort of connections do I have with people? Do I keep people at a distance?

Do I feel energy around my connections to other people?

What connections do I have that no longer serve me?

How do I maintain my connections?

It is in connecting with others that we can find our greater purpose. In Bronnie Ware’s book, “Five Regrets of the Dying” she discovered that those in palliative care regretted not staying in-touch with friends. You don’t have to like everyone, that’s not what this article is about, but look after those connections that you do have, because ultimately how we live, here and now, is what defines us.

I encourage you to leave your reflections below and we will hold space for you and offer a space of healing.

In love,

Alyssa @Chakra Cards

©Alyssa Curtayne, 2017

[1] Baumeister, Roy F.; Leary, Mark R., 1995, The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation, Psychological Bulletin, Vol 117(3), May 1995, 497-529. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.117.3.497
[2] Hill, Craig A, 1987, Affiliation motivation: People who need people… but in different ways, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol 52(5), May 1987, 1008-1018.http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.52.5.1008

 

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