Is The Bachelor another way for us to break the sisterhood?



Green – Heart chakra – Air element – unconditional love and compassion, Goddess energy, archetypes, passion, gratitude


What does it mean to support your “sisters”? what does it mean to bring your “sisters” down”?

While shuffling this card stuck out and I stopped shuffling and decided to take it. The second card that fell out with it was ‘Which Gods/Goddesses are you drawn to?’

Ultimately this question is about how we treat our fellow humans. That is, the Sisterhood of Women. It could be sisters that were born, or married into your life, or every woman as an extension of our collective humanity. We live in a culture that constantly puts people down. We have a culture of criticism. There’s an excellent blog about women and the criticisms we face on a daily basis by Nikki Macfarlane on Facebook. But if we look more widely into modern culture, a programme like The Bachelor puts 25 women in a mansion to compete for the attentions of one very attractive male. Part of the “fun” of this programme is watching the women bitch about each other’s clothes, hair, make-up, personality and as the observer of the programme we join in the bitching; we become a part of the collective put down of all women. We make judgements on these women based only what the producers have chosen to show us. Make no mistake, we are being trained to find the bad ones, the beautiful ones, the perfect ones and find ways to put her down.

This question could literally be your birth sisters or your sisterhood of women just as much as it could be your treatment of the people who come into your everyday existence, either via media or in person.

Researching this topic was quite difficult as few academics have studied the effects of women competing against each other and how we compete. It is interesting, but just like The Bachelor, when it is just women in a workplace, there is an imbalance. I remember 20 years ago working in a primary school that was entirely women, apart from the PE teacher and one other teacher, it was by far the bitchiest workplace that I have ever encountered. Why do women feel the need to compete with one another? Why can we not support and encourage each other? You just need to look at what is said about female celebrities, female politicians, scientists, innovators and entrepreneurs. They are just not supported as much as men are, and sadly it is other women who are contributing to this suppression of women’s brilliance.

Which brings me to the second card, which God/Goddess are you most drawn to? The best way to enact change is through role modelling. When you see someone with all the personal qualities that you (like a Goddess) would like you have two choices: you can learn from her, or you can bring her down so she’s on your level. Goddesses cannot be brought down. Which is why this card came up. This is not about feminism, but about supporting each other. If we think of Earth as a family and you put one member of Earth down constantly because she is too pretty, too fat, not dressed properly, behaves in a way that is not woman-like, or whatever, she’s going to shrink. She will hide or she will fight back and put you down too. That’s not a world that I am happy to continue.

Whether we like it or not there is always a woman who will be better at something than we are. We cannot and should not strive for perfection. Striving will always keep you striving.

Further questions to reflect on for this card include:

How do you feel about the women in your life?

Do you put other women down?

How does it make you feel when you criticise other women?

When you criticise, do you criticise the behaviour or the person?

Do you have a role model that you would like to emulate?

If you are a man, how can you contribute to the raising of the Sisterhood?

If you are a man, how do you contribute to the Brotherhood?

Within the Sisterhood of women, we are both our worst enemies and greatest support. With the rise of the Women’s circles and movements like the Red Tent, women are clawing back our support of each other. I encourage you to leave your thoughts (and any research) below, we would love to chat in an environment of support and respect.

In love,

Alyssa @Chakra Cards

©Alyssa Curtayne, 2017




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